Dialogue of the Gods
by bubblygoo
Summary: I hope you like eating your food through a straw." SaiSaku


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Sakura believes in team bonding activities. She eats ramen with Naruto when her stomach can stand it, she chats with Yamato about what's really behind Kakashi's mask, and she genuinely makes an effort to read Icha-Icha Paradise, even if she can't bring herself to open the cover.

Sometimes, she brings Sai out to her favorite bakery.

"I let you fall."

He opens with an abstract statement.

"What?"

Her usual reply.

"I regret it now."

He looks soulful.

"Really?"

She is incredulous.

"I should have caught you. Then Yamato wouldn't have looked at me so sternly when we got back."

"I didn't notice."

She remembers.

"The staring?"

"The falling. I wouldn't have known if you'd saved me or not unless you told me. Which you did. Nice going."

"I said I was sorry."

"I know, I know. It's water under the bridge."

"So you're not mad."

"No."

"You're strange."

"Would you rather have me punch you?"

"No."

"Then stop complaining."

"I'm concerned for you. The amount of sugars and fats you consume vastly outweigh the proteins and complex carbohydrates in your diet."

"You don't live with me, and you have no idea what I eat."

"You eat ice cream and cake."

"I'm going to shove your fork down your throat."

"Are you trying to kill me because you're angry that I didn't catch you?'

"For the last time, no!"

To her credit, she remembers to let go of her fork before she punches him.

"…That hurt."

"You deserved it. Now shut up and eat. You ordered it, didn't you?"

She recalls that he took fifteen minutes staring at the glass case before finally asking her what she was getting.

"You're pretty vicious for a medical ninja."

"You're pretty crude for an artist."

"You're pretty ugly for a girl."

"I have a hundred of these, you know, half of which involve your mother."

"My mother's dead."

She squirms but refuses to back down.

"Doesn't matter. It's rhetorical."

"Rhetorical?"

"Your mother's so ugly that when she walked into a haunted house, she walked out with an application."

"How immature."

"I know. Why did I say that? That was low. Naruto-level. Ugh."

She holds her head in her hands.

"The pot calling the kettle black, I'd say."

"I'm going to kill you."

"Figuratively, I'm sure. With kindness."

"With my fists."

"You wouldn't."

But he doesn't risk calling her bluff.

"Get down from that tree and we'll see."

"I like it up here. Serene. Beautiful. So unlike you."

"Keep talking."

She stalks over to the tree, ignoring the worried looks of the other patrons, most of whom decide to pay for their meals and leave at that precise moment.

"A person from the village hidden in the leaves really shouldn't be splitting trees in a temper tantrum."

He feels fortunate that the second hokage decided that these trees look better in groves.

"Get down here. You're causing a spectacle."

She feels badly for splitting the first tree and decides to spare the second, settling for simply waiting under the branches instead. The owner of the bakery reminds herself that Sakura is a valued customer, as well as the hokage's apprentice, and calling the police force was much too drastic a measure.

"So violent, and yet quite useless on missions other than as a bandage."

"An amnesiac, I see."

"I'd like to think selective memory."

"The next time five jounin from the Cloud try to take off your head, I won't help you."

"Will you hit me if I come down?"

"No."

"You're smiling. I'm scared."

"Don't be ridiculous. I wouldn't hurt you."

"Oh, a blue empress butterfly. Those are quite rare."

She gives up and goes back to their table.

"Fine. Stay in a tree and paint all day. I'm eating the rest of your cake."

"Go ahead. A moment on the lips, forever on the hips."

"Hi, could I get the bill?"

The bakery owner hastily brings their bill and turns around. She pretends she didn't see Sakura grab her plate and hurl it towards the young man in the tree. She hopes they leave a generous tip.

"Ow. Now I have lipids in my hair. I thought you wanted to eat it?"

Sakura takes out her wallet.

"A moment on the lips, forever on the hips. I'm going home, now. Are you done with your painting?"

He jumps down.

"No, but you scared the butterfly away. It seems as though you have that effect on animals as well as people."

"I hope you like eating your food through a straw."

"As long as it isn't cake."

He runs. She chases. The bakery owner smiles as she flips through the thick wad of bills.


End file.
